New collection of poetry

Sacred Journey by By: Nicole Renee Jordan | Make Your Own Book

Modern Day Hadassah

I need to write while it’s still fresh in my mind. The fearlessness, the wholesomeness, the selflessness, the graciousness, the humbleness of a young slave girl. I just got done reading the first two books from the “Mark of the Lion Trilogy” by Francine Rivers.  The characters I have grown to love are real to me because I can see myself and others play their parts today. There was Julia a passionate, wide-eyed girl who started out innocent but quickly became the epitome of selfishness giving into every indulgence that would satisfy her needs and no one else’s. I would cringe inside as I read of her life spinning out of control with immorality. I wanted to scream at her “WAKE UP!” why are you giving away such beauty to things that will leave you empty, broken, and hopeless. But I found myself relating to this girl, it was like looking at myself knowing that I have lived like this girl at one time or another. Then there was Hadassah the young slave girl and a proclaimed Christian, she started out doubting her faith but by the end of the book I was changed by her walk. Last night as I turned that last page I found myself with new hope and a new love for Jesus. I want to be a modern day Hadassah, someone that is not afraid to speak the truth in love to anyone that challenges why I believe. I want to be able to forgive someone that hurts me without worrying about the risk, I want to be able to stand for what God has commanded of me because I’m so in love with Jesus that all I want to do is obey Him. Through this book I saw the roads of obedience and the road of self indulgence come to a close and I want obedience. I’m so thankful that He is our redeemer; he can restore us and make us whiter than snow. He has a good purpose for all those who believe.

I would recommend this trilogy to everyone! I never had a passion for traveling but after reading this book I want to travel to Rome, to Judea, to the Sea of Galilee. Even though this was just a book with characters I just know there were people like Hadassah, Julia, and the rest of the characters that walked before me. They endured the same struggles in a different time period and I find comfort knowing we are one body in Christ.

Psalm 51:7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Psalm 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your holy spirit from me. 

Don't Give Up

He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. Psalm 40:2

Can he really lift me out of despair, out of the pit that I have buried myself in? Should I keep trying, when all I want to do is give up?

I had dreams and yet he is calling me to surrender them. I planned out how my life should go but He is leading me elsewhere. To get to him I need to let go of what I want the most, how can I let go? How do I trust?

I don’t have the answer but I know that to get there we can’t give up. I keep walking my own way and it quenches my thirst for a while but then the emptiness dwells in my soul again.  The times when I felt alive in my faith  are the times that I showed restraint, taking off the old and putting on the new. I felt sorrow for things I gave up but peace because He has something better. The road is shaky, uncomfortable, unknown but it’s okay because He knows. Don’t give up on your faith when you are in despair, it may be harder,  there may unhappiness, but by being faithful you will be made more Holy. “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” Keep walking by faith and don’t give up.

Suitcases

I’m all packed up with guilt and shame

places for pain and heartache

I even found room for tears

Stained on the leather of my suitcases

I’m all packed up with regrets and mistakes

Places for failures and fears

I even found room for sneers

Scuffed on the leather of my suitcases

Suitcases that were meant to be temporary

We each have our own we carry

Suitcases that were meant for trips

Have become the journey instead

Today I traveled far and long

To the place I once felt loved

Unpacking my suitcases one by one

His words whispered me a song

“Be still and know I am God”

One by one I unpacked my life

Each suitcase traded in for His sacrifice

I found peace with my nose:)

This may sound funny, but I found peace with my nose. My unique Roman Italian nose, which my brother often swipes his finger across pretending an imaginary skier has taken flight off a bump or (slope) into the air. That bump caused me to part my bangs a certain way to disguise it, or I would try to make my eyes look more dramatic so my nose looked less dramatic. In pictures I would always be sure to look right at the camera to make sure no sign of my bump could be seen, so you get the picture I hated my nose. 

So this past summer I went to a Beth Moore seminar and low and behold she had the same issue with her nose! Except she would try to distract the attention away from her nose by making her hair BIG, if you know Beth Moore than you probably know what I’m talking about. I was just amazed that she was announcing that she didn’t like her nose on a simulcast in front of hundreds of people. As if that was not enough she then stated that she had started to like the dang thing!! Now that took some guts, she was accepting her insecurities, she owned her insecurities and better yet she was beginning to be okay with them.

The cool part (yes there is a cool part)about our insecurities is that God can handle them. My past mistakes may try to keep me backed down in a corner but those regrets can’t claim my security in His love for me or you. Another cool thing (yes another!) that I have found  in my flaws is that they can actually be turned into something valuable. For example with my own insecurities I have found compassion in my heart- to take the plank out of my own eye before I criticize someone else. I have also learned to be more forgiving when someone says or does something that hurts, I can forgive because in other peoples insecurities I see myself and I’m reminded of how many times I have asked to be made new and be forgiven.

Recently I heard Dr.Lehman say that perfectionism is a slow death, it’s a bold yet true statement. We strive to be perfect but perfection in this life is not attainable. So why not delight in our insecurities and think of them as something we can improve instead of perfect. Something we can maybe even start to like a little bit because it keeps us grounded, compassionate, and uniquely His! As I mentioned earlier I found peace with my nose, the other day I took a picture and it was smack dab the center of attention and for the first time I saw some beauty in it and even started to like the dang thing!

Perhaps when we are insecure those are the times that God is working in our hearts the most because in those moments of fragility we are the most vulnerable. We are hoping to be cherished, beautiful, smart, successful, and to be loved. If you find yourself at a breaking point with security hold onto this truth -God makes all things beautiful in His time! Sometimes I just say it over and over and I believe it too.

He loves the most faithful believer and is after the most wandering soul t-shirt

Totes!!

Hey Friends! My first t-shirt design is completed on a vintage burn-out t-shirt. If you are interested in getting one email me at Nicole.Renee.Jordan@gmail.com. This is a shear t-shirt perfect for layering!

$21.00

Surrender

I don’t want to give it up. Its comfortable. Its heartache. Its mistakes. Its lack of trust. Its abandonment. Its waiting for someone to change. It’s time I can’t get back. It’s a bad relationship. Its selfishness. Its failure.



All these things represent all that I hold onto. Why can’t I let them go? I stay in the molds which other people have plastered me in and I don’t believe I can be redeemed. I have tried too long to keep this life up on my own thinking that I can fix my soul. Why do I feel I need to handle everything on my own? This week I found relief; refreshing, weight lifting, life changing relief. Relief came when I realized that it’s just me and God. I have my own relationship with God and it doesn’t have to be “all prettied up” (as my pastor Dan Sutherland would say). He knows me, who I am now and He knows who I long to be.



I don’t need to say a fancy prayer, I can be real with God.



I messed up yesterday, I messed up today, he knows it and yet wants to take on life with me. We mess up but His love remains the same and freedom can be found through surrendering. We can be redeemed through surrendering our imperfections to God; he will show up when we give up control. I know that when I’m doing life my way I can’t hear Gods soft whisper to my heart; and I probably can’t hear it because I’m not asking for it either!



Surrender means to relinquish, hand over, part with, forfeit it’s the beauty of someone unwrapping their weary burdened arms, letting go of heartache, mistakes, abandonment, failure and laying it down at the foot of the cross for God to help.



Mathew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and burden is light.”