I was reading Captivating the other day, and I’m to the part where it talks about how as woman we should be alluring. We are meant to be alluring. I just sat there in my grungy t-shirt and baggy pajama pants with my hair all up in a messy bun feeling anything but alluring. Most days I find myself staring in the mirror looking at my stomach wondering if I can ever get back to the way I use to before I had my son. Although my stomach was never flat as a pancake after having a kid it’s just not the same. It’s not only the outside that feels less than glamorous but I feel the same on the inside; I know that my heart has yet to recover from some of my past heartaches. I remember a time a while back where I had poured my heart into this guy, I did everything I could to try to win him over, made dinner, cleaned his place, watched his kids, but nothing worked. That my friend was NOT alluring. After we had broken up I remember becoming bitter to ever falling in love again; I cried and cried for a few hours but then I shut off. I was done being vulnerable and that is where I still am today. I still think I even see myself through the eyes of my ex…unworthy of love. As I write that I shudder to think that any person could make me feel that way; but HE is not the one who has made me feel that way...I’m believing in a lie that I am feeding to myself. How many times do we fix ourselves to look good for someone else? We buy that certain outfit so he will notice us, or we color our hair because then we will stand out (my favorite thing to do)…one thing after the other to make ourselves feel more alluring for anyone but who matters the most.
Being alluring starts on the inside and to get there we have to be willing to be a little vulnerable. We have to be willing to give up control and not depend on someone else’s approval to believe we are worthy. When I look up the definition of being alluring it means to be extremely attractive and gorgeous this may be true but I think it’s the result of being gracious, subtle and gentle. When I read the stories of Ruth and Esther in the bible they were both alluring because of their trust in Jesus. Their TRUST alone is so awe-inspiring because they lived courageously by faith. It’s also awe-inspiring because it doesn’t have to be just their story; if we TRUST in God it can be ours too. What I love most in the book Captivating is that it speaks of being alluring in the most pure essence of the word and its God honoring. Alluring means the opposite of flaunting ourselves and being too available. It’s the beauty of finding who we are in Christ, how valuable we are to the King of Kings. I recently read an awesome quote that reminds me of this…”A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek him first to find her” – Maya Angelou. That is such an inspiring quote that gives me a whole new perspective and reminds me that my dependence should be in God alone. When God is the foundation I believe that he uncovers beauty in us we never believed we could have. So for now I may keep my grungy t-shirt and baggy pajama pants but my sights are set on the Lord; you know the best part- we can just come as we are and be loved.